The Best Man’s speech, Groom’s speech or Father of the Bride’s speech conjures different emotions for people. For some, the joy of telling a good yarn for other’s, after a moment of insanity in saying ‘yes’, it conjures the Ava Kadavara (Harry Potter spell of horriblness). But it doesn’t have to be this way.
In the previous post Best Man’s, Groom’s, Father of the Bride’s Speech | No Fear! | Part 1 I talked about what causes this insatiable fear and how to shift this fear by understanding that it’s all in your mind, and mind’s can be easily changed.
In this post Part 2 I’ll be giving you one of the best Public Speaking Top Techniques and Tips you can have if your the Best Man, Groom or Father of the Bride for your speech, that I learnt the hard way! And today, stops in it’s tracks this thing called fear.
Let me tell you a story that will let you know how I found out about this and how it’ll help you.
A Mad Hatter – Quite Sane
Some years ago I’d been asked to present at a conference in London at the Excel Stadium. I wanted to increase the presence of my business so I said ‘yes’. The presentation / speech was set to be infront of 300 people, all of whom were top-flight professionals, hungry for the best information possible.
I was no stranger to speaking in front of groups and didn’t think anymore of this, until I arrived that fateful day.
For some strange and unknown reason I suddenly felt way-out of my comfort zone. I remember parking the car and walking up to the stadium with this overwhelming desire to turn round and run. I had no idea why. I’d prepared the speech, had all my notes and was ready. Or so I thought.
Overwhelming Desire to Run
This overwhelming desire to run was made worse by the rushing horde of people pushing past me to get to the doors. With each step, a feeling of panic inensified as my mouth dried to sandpaper, my breathing shallowed and I’d lost all sensation in my legs (I think I was having an out of body experience! :-)) And…I hadn’t even reached the doors to the stadium!
I needed to do something about this. I had no clue why I felt like a first world war soldier in the trenches ordered to rush blind at the enemy. It was time for a change.
I walked past the conferences adorned on either side of the stadium corridor. I was struck by the oddness of it all. I really had entered into Alice in Wonderland.
To my left the World Championship all stars cage fighting conference was being held. People in all strange garb were milling around a big black metal cage. On closer inspection I eyed two monsters mauling each other to the bays and satisfaction of the onlookers. On my right, a small wedding conference with Pink Pantaloons and Parfeits adorned the stands. While in front, my destination, the national conference of complementary medicine lay waiting. I could see all types of (what appeared to be alchemist brews) were on sale and apocathery’s lined the walls. Modern day witches and wizards haggled and bartered for the latest spells in town.
Boy did I just walk into a strange place that day. Made no stranger by this intense fear and panic.
Something Even Stranger Happened
On an average day I’d turn up at a conference to give a speech pretty much one minute before my slot. Though this time, I found myself standing in line a whole thirty minutes early. I can only think, the madness of the show had intoxicated my system even further and walked me in a daze to my venue.
As a Best man doing the speech, Groom, or Father of the Bride – I’ve heard it said, this daze occurrs throughout the wedding and gets worse as the speech draws nearer.
But this was different – instead of the panic-daze I’d had earlier, I was caught up in the magical strange goings on that had led me to this que.
Not being the most social person and rather British, I did the unearthly thing of chatting to the person in front of me; finding out why they were there, joking around and generally being a social good nuisance. And it didn’t stop there. I engaged another person in the conversation, then another and another.
I must have talked to about thirty or so people in that half hour.
I felt good, I felt comfortable, I felt alive, good natured and in high spirits.
I entered the conference and made my way to the front, turned round and glanced across the room to the people making their way to their seats and noticed the people I had made friends with.
No longer had I an ocean of blank-faces to stare at, I had a group of people with whom I’d created a bond. People to whom I could focus my attention on and talk to.
That day, I learn’t the art of public speaking and speeches.
‘Make friends with the people – your audience’.
Get to know some of them before you do your speech. Not the people you know already – the ones you don’t know.
Your Best Mans’ Speech, Groom’s Speech, Father of the Brides Speech
You’ll have many hours before your speech, spend some of this time going round and making friends with the guests, find out a bit about them, ask how they know the Bride and Groom and do they have any good stories they can tell you, about them. People love telling stories and will only be too happy to share.
You may even discover some great stories to add to your speech.
The ocean of blank faces will become people that you’ve connected, engaged and made a relationship with.
Why It Works
By nature we’re still animals and our brain has these low level responses that haven’t evolved with the iPad minds of today. What we search for and need as humans is social relationships and belonging to a group. This helped us survive back in the days of (cage fighting) cave man time before the Best Man’s Speech or Groom’s Speech had been invented.
Use this natural instinct and get to know people, have fun and enjoy your speech.
The Best Man’s speech, Groom’s Speech or Father of the Brides speech is a great time to tell stories. People love a good yarn 😉
P.S. In the next post I’ll be showing you how to prepare your speech so it’s not a drain on you for the Best Man’s Speech, Groom’s Speech or Father of the Bride’s Speech.