In this last post I’m going to talk about how you don’t have to go and see a coach or hypnotist to get over the nerves and get confident; instead how you can use an uber cool tool that will help you get there just by sitting at your PC (sound too good to be true – read on).
But first…. a story,
Over the years I’ve coached & trained many many people in how to use their minds better for a more fulfilling life, worked with some of the leading authorities in personal development and have an envious list of blue-chip clients on my portfolio…and…one thing stands out above the rest of what I’ve learn’t –
‘How is it that some people get the change they want without ever having to see someone at all’
After years of learning, discovery and work – it appears the one thing that stands above the rest is that change has to come from a congruence with your unconscious desires and conscious ones: a marriage between the two.
A little history
Milton Erickson is considered (now passed away) the father of modern day medical hypnosis. People like Paul McKenna, Derren Brown and I use his methods and techniques to help people do just this – create a marriage between conscious and unconscious mind. However for most people hypnosis still has a taboo and ‘clucking like a chicken’ is not on the menu for getting down and groovy to get what you want.
However, the work of Milton shows that trance is a natural phenomena and as such consistently happens in our daily lives. Consider, driving as an example; have you had the expereince of driving somewhere only to have arrived and wondered where the journey went. It’s as if you just magically arrived at your destination. These are two typical hypnotic phenomena called – amnesia and time-distortion. Or perhaps at the table, you ask for the Ketchup (ok just me then) and you can’t see it only to be told it’s right in front of your nose. This is called negative hallucination. A positive hallucination is where you go into an empty house and can visualise seeing where your couch and TV will be.
What’s this got to do with Best man and grooms speeches? I hear you ask.
A good coach is somone who can help you access and create this marriage between your two minds. (now if your wandering at this point, I don’t have two minds – let me talk about something briefly first). Your unconscious mind, is that part of you that looks after everything that keeps you alive and means you don’t have to ‘consciously’ think about how or when to do something. While reading this you’re probably unaware of your breathing or heart rate, the sounds around you or the warmth between your top and your skin, though you know they’re there; you’re just not attending to them consciously. BUT your unconscious mind is and will make adjustments for you to keep you comfortable and safe etc.
Therefore, what happens when you think about a speech and get all anxious and nervous is your unconsious mind giving you signals that come up as pictures in your mind, feelings of panic or fear and lots of negative self-talk. BUTTTTTT ‘YOU’ know consciously there is really nothing to fear, it’s all in your mind (so to speak)…however you just can’t get rid of these horrible feelings.
Soooooo what we need to do is… ‘talk to the organ grinder and not the monkey’…Your unconscious mind. Because this is where all of these things originate from. And it doesn’t matter how much you try and tell yourself, everythings ok, there’s nothing to fear, don’t be so stupid it’s only a few friends and family, things just don’t seem to get any better – unfortunatly my friend, your unconscious mind isn’t going to take any simple placations!
Talk to the other mind
So what we need to do is talk directly to the unconscious mind and there are two common ways of doing this –
1) go see a hypnotherapist / coach and do it in trance (this is because your unconsious mind becomes more active and doesn’t have your conscious mind involved to sabotage the work
2) know how the unconscious mind works and use tools that work directly with it without the need for hypnosis.
And it’s number 2 that I want to talk to you about. You see, not everyone can afford a coach, has the time or knows a good one to see or knows either which book to read nor how to use the material inside to help them.
And it’s this second part that I’ve been looking at over the years, ‘how to help people, help themselves’.
So what we want to do is use the same mechanisms a great coach would use that works directly with your unconscious mind without the need for going to see someone, that will work and also not use ‘traditional hypnosis’ or long therapy sessions.
I’d been researching and playing with ‘toys’ that do just this and recently came across something that fulfills all of this criteria. I’d seen some stuff around for ‘mind-storyboarding’ where you can put in pictures and movies that play in the background with some soft music etc that looked pretty ok, but they just didn’t have the options to do what I thought it should do…
This got me excited
Then recently I came across an email that hit my inbox talking about something that was just being released.
Inititally I thought – ‘oh dear’ here we go again another scammy thing – but my curiosity got the better of me and I had a look.
I was suprised by 2 things
1) It was something you could play around with yourself and customise it to what you want
2) It was something whereby you could get the extras and not have to bother doing it yourself
3) It was free – 🙂
FREE I thought, now that’s more like it – not hundreds of pounds on something that either might or might not work. Rather something that you could test, play around with and get the extras when you chose to.
SO guess what…
I went and got it, played with it and now want to let you have it too.
It’s in using this tool, you’ll be able to help yourself with the right words and phrases that a hypnotherapist/coach might use in order to help you get over the nerves and stop the panic. It’s with this you can learn how to get the change you want without the need of going to see someone. It’s with this you can help yourself and know you can finally do the speech you always wanted and enjoy doing it.
Hit the link below and see how you can use it for yourself.
Because, at the end of that day, you want to have had a great, fun and exciting day and don’t want all the nerves, panic and stress. Instead, do something about it and use the Desktop Coach and all of the previous articles to help you do the speech you know you really can.
I’ve never followed trends as I disliked being just one of the crowd so my love for things that are different, unusual, beautiful and stylistic that I’d had all my life transformed into Alice in Weddingland.