The Best Man speech, Groom speech or Father of the Bride speech isn’t just about the fear that’s crystallised in the speaker it’s as much about the fear from the audience too!
So how do you manage to do a great speech (The Kings Speech) and not bring fear into the audience either ;-)?
On this wedding blog we’ve covered some of the key psychological aspects of the Best man speech, groom speech and father of the bride speech as well as how to view your audience differently Best man speech, groom speech and father of the bride speech part 2 (and not as a pack of wolves).
In this post we look at the Top 5 things you can do to ensure you have a great time and knock that fear on the head.
The Best Man Speech, Groom Speech, Father of the Bride Speech – TOP 5 techniques to stop the panic and keep calm
Starting at number 5…
5 – Preparation is the mother of invention
Although this is at number 5, this is probably one of the most important aspects of doing a great speech, as either the best man, groom or father of the bride…but…it really lays the foundations for the other 4, so that’s why it’s at number 5.
Don’t wait until the last day to quickly write your speech on the back of an envelope or napkin, not unless you have a repertoire to perform from.
Sketch it out as early as you can. Give yourself plenty of time to get all the stories & anecdotes together, this will help you relax and not panic about the content of your speech. It also means you can make changes to it as the day gets closer, giving you plenty of time to review your speech.
Design your speech to have a beginning, middle and end. Think of the end as the punch line (it doesn’t have to be a joke, but can summarise all that you’ve said in a punchy way)
I’ll cover how to design a speech in another post and how to make it fun for you so you’ll really enjoy getting it together.
4 – Be funny but not the joke
Do people laugh when you tell jokes? Are you good at the punch line? Or is it all just wet fish on the dinner table?
If you’re great at telling jokes or know how to use situational humour during your speech then add them to your best man speech, groom speech or father of the bride speech.
But if you’re not…STOP right now. There’s nothing worse than watching someone try and tell a joke that you clearly know is nose diving. People hate squirming in their seats from a diving joke more than a bad joke!
So if you’re really not good at telling jokes, forget the punch line…just don’t do them, they’re not expected or needed. If you’re good at them… then do ’em!
3 – The audience is listening
Your audience is on your side. They want to help you and give you their attention in listening to what you have to say. Sometimes someone may speak to the person next to them, a baby might cry or aunty faint. But that doesn’t mean to say they think that what you’re saying is boring.
It’s all too easy to think you know what other people are thinking, but it’s the biggest mistake you can make. You don’t and can’t. So any reaction from the audience that you don’t understand or think is negative (unless you’ve got a few tomatoes heading your way) is usually a case of your nerves getting the better of you.
So think of it this way, you’re doing a speech to 5 of your best friends ever and they are intensely interested in what you’re saying because you are an interesting person and have something of value to say.
2 – Make friends not enemies
In a similar way to number 3, (but different enough ;-)) you want to have the audience on your side. Plying them copious amounts of wine is a great way to start, but even through red or white lenses, they’ll still spot a phoney a mile off.
Go round the people at the wedding before your speech and make friends with them, (you don’t have to be life long buddies) but get to know them a bit. Ask some questions about them, how they know the bride and groom etc. This is a great way to get over the ‘pack of wolves – sea of faces’ that causes so much of the panic and nerves in people, who do the best man speech, groom speech or father of the bride speech.
1 – Smile you’re on camera
You may not understand initially why this is the number one reason that can help you do the King’s Speech to start with, so let me give you a few pointers.
People warm to smiles
Smiles are a natural way to let someone know we are happy and inviting
People who are inviting attract other people
Attraction is what makes us …attractive 🙂
Attractive people are liked
Liked people are confident
Confident people get more
Those who get more smile more
Those that smile more…( I think you get the picture!)
So smile You’re ON Camera and you would’t want to look any other way. Oh…and smiling also makes you feel great too.
And if you just follow these 5 basic principles of how to do the King’s Speech as the Best Man’s speech, Groom’s Speech or Father of the Bride Speech, you’ll be having a great day!
Have fun & smile 🙂