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little something different today.  Since my Winning Wedding Photos series has stopped until the New Year, a few personal posts this way comes. And although I was going to post a real wedding today, I have something on my mind. Something that needs to be said. It’s not normally me to be bluntly outspoken but I feel the need today because I am frustrated!

In fact it’s infuriating me! And it’s completely got me wrapped up in a little bundle of tension.

I’m a blogger. That doesn’t mean I’ll take anyone’s berating!

Since being a blogger I have been thrust into a new world. In this world, which exists almost entirely in a world of binary code, I’ve had more experiences in one year than I did in my full working career! Most, amazing! Some, down-right crappy! And it’s the crappy ones that’s got me all riled up.

As a blogger I’ve had to learn to turn berating into a ‘jumble of letters all grouped in a way that means nothing and makes no sense’ otherwise I take it personally, I get upset and it wanes my motivation. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t’ shy away from constructive criticism, I’m my harshest critique. But it’s useless, mean and purposefully rude comments that has me frustrated along with all those who think they can simply see something they like, fax it, tweak it a teensy bit and launch it as their own creation.

In the beginning, I took it all personally. Now, it’s changed! Now, I’m speaking out!

The Wedding Industry: so totally happy

The wedding industry is a wonderfully positive, happy and romantic industry: made up of Hubby and Wife teams, creative Mums, young inspiring artists and mostly all round genuinely beautiful and talented people – but it has a darkside.

I have met and been inspired by so much that surrounds Alice In Weddingland and continue to be surprised by the amount of incredibly talented and creative people all making Brides and Grooms deliriously happy. Yet there’s a side to being a blogger that I really… don’t… like! And find really, hard, to manage.

That is, those people who deem it there job to post/comment/speak or write negative, useless, non-constructive crap! And in a year alone I’ve come up against a good fistful!

So why am I writing this today? Because in the space of a week, I’ve had yet another plagiariser (I think total count is 8) who has ripped of my posts in their entirety. Another who has not only taken my idea of Alice and it’s ‘unique’ weddings and created a blog so similar it’s ridiculous, another who has copied our Wedding Directory. And, my twitter stalker seems intent on continuously writing horrible and negative comments and I’m fed up!

I understand that once you ‘out’ yourself publicly you make yourself vulnerable to others opinions and for someone like me who, since a young girl, has always wanted to be liked, it’s a hard job to keep your emotions in check. Yet I know I’m not alone! I know some beautiful people in this industry who’ve also had nasty people on twitter and FB or have had their creations stolen and so I’m standing up, as brave as my wobbly legs will hold me, and I’m saying:

STOP THE ****ING CRAP!  Get your own ideas! And be inspired, don’t steal! And finally, for those who want to berate – go somewhere else. Join a debating forum. Outleash your negativity somewhere else. I don’t want you here.

This blog is a happy, beautiful, inspiring place to be. Everyone featured on it is! Everyone who is published, is! I will not publish your unhappy berating conversation. I know other blogs might but for me. I am creating something happy and that’s how I want it to stay.

I’m happy if you’re happy

Since starting Alice In Weddingland I’ve had an incredible amount of support and encouragement from those in the industry, Brides around the globe and people who follow Alice In Weddingland purely for it’s inspiration in it’s many guises. I’ve had inspiration surprise me in doorways that I never knew could be opened and I just don’t understand why someone, sitting in front of their computer, reading something positive, thinks sitting back and writing comments like “I know it’s unique and all, but why the hell would someone want a wedding like this” or worse can think it’s something that I’m going to want to read, enjoy reading or even still, smile at there negative insults.

I am a nice person. I love people and I love to be inspired. I can only hope that one day, I can inspire others! But it really does make me so confused as to why those few people need to trash others inspiration. If you don’t like it, change the channel!

I am a creator. This blog is my creation. It is a part of me and exists through me. It is my thoughts, my ideas, my loves, my passions, my inspiration. It is a menagerie of all things creative for weddings that ‘I’ find beautiful or inspiring in ‘my’ way. It is my taste, my style and every other wedding blog out there (well, nearly) is the same. It is their thoughts, ideas and interests that make so many wonderfully diversified blogs available to the public. And considering it is my creation (I don’t get paid to write or post what you see on the blog), it baffles me when I get comments that are meaningless, useless or unsupportive to those who I feature on the blog, be it a real wedding, a photographer or any industry person or of course berate me.

As I’m sure you can read through this, I am upset. I’m upset for the people who this happens to, not just me. The people who work tirelessly to create, to envisage, to dream, to explore, to ‘just be’ who they are and then to have someone (who seems to think they’re important) try and devalue them or their work.

Rob experienced this too. My Hubby is an extraordinary talented man, (seriously, I’m not just biased 🙂 ) in the work of psychology and the mind. He has an innate ability to ‘see’ what others don’t and he has spent the last 20 years helping people! All his work is positive. All of his work is there to help one or many change, improve, understand but above all else, help themselves – and he’s had his share of Darth Vader’s launch their attack from the DarkSide.

In the beginning we would respond, respectfully, understandingly, and in good faith. But it never got us anywhere and so in support of my own recent Darth Vader attacks we have decided that we will not respond to any negativity anymore.

Freedom of speech: the blogging beginning

This world is made up of freedom of speech and blogs are an ultimate source of that freedom of speech. This is the beauty of bloggers: we can learn so much, build rapport with someone across the world, get inspired by a thought, a picture and enhance our knowledge, our style, our understanding of the world around us.

I’m here to support the Bride and Groom in their search to create their ultimate, unique wedding. And I’m here to support all the talented people behind the scenes because that is what I’m good at and that is what I love to do. Like many thousands of you who in your industry have probably come across these sorts of people. I’m speaking out because I don’t want to have to deal with them anymore. I don’t want them to ruin the rest of my day because of their negative thoughts, their lack of happiness. Why should we put up with their misery?!

No longer will Darth Vader be able to make a dent in me for I hold a Light Saber too and it’s loaded with confidence! For all those people out there who, in their jobs have had to deal with this kind of person, here’s to a new found ignorance 🙂

If you’re in support of this post please add your comment below, or like our Facebook page, and join us in a happy twitter conversation!!! What are your thoughts on what we can do to deal with this sort of Social Media rudeness! How can we stop this?

I come back to an oldy but a goodie – united we stand, divided we fall!

Join me in saying ‘NO MORE’!

Wishing you all the happiness and positive thoughts for your evening!

P.S.  It’s taken me all day to finally push the ‘Publish’ button as I’ve never done this sort of thing before but I have to admit, it feels good to gain control 🙂

Love always

Zarn xxx

Zarn

I’ve never followed trends as I disliked being just one of the crowd so my love for things that are different, unusual, beautiful and stylistic that I’d had all my life transformed into Alice in Weddingland.
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